


Ruined Us

by Shadowwriter1960



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowwriter1960/pseuds/Shadowwriter1960
Summary: Hermione wonders if she's ruined things.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Hermione Granger
Kudos: 16





	Ruined Us

Ruined Us

Sirius/Hermione

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended

I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve waited too long, is it now too late? Will my world ever be the same? Not without him in it. He told me a few days ago he loves me, but I didn’t say it back. Not because I don’t feel it, I do. I love him with every fiber of my being but am I ready to be in this kind of relationship with him? I’m the type that needs everything in order and I play by the rules. He’s more of the fly by the seat of his pants and does what feels right guy. I will admit when I’ve let him take the lead, let my hair down, and done things his way, I’ve always had fun and no laws have been broken. We are just so different, and he’s older than me. We started this adventure as he calls it a few months after he was spat out of the veil. No one was as happy to see him as Harry, but I will admit all those feeling that I felt in our fifth year came flooding back, I had such a crush on him. Feelings I haven’t felt since long before Ron and I broke up. We knew after a year, that our relationship wasn’t working, but stayed together trying longer than we should have. It upset Molly, but no one else seemed to be surprised. 

Last week he told me he loves me, and I know he does. He shows me every day. It’s the little things. Like a gentle touch as I walk by or getting up early on a rare day off to make me breakfast before I go to work. He never pressures me to do anything and he never gets angry or frustrated. He’s said since the beginning I set the pace as to how our relationship goes. Nothing will happen that I don’t want to happen or that I’m not ready for. Plus, if we start something I can always say no, and we stop. He’s always thinking of me and my feelings. So far nothing has happened other than some snogging and light touching. The part that no one knows is that I went after him. Everyone thinks he pursued me, and I gave in. But the truth is I flirted first, and I kissed him first. It surprised both of us. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs talking to Ginny. I was standing on the bottom step waiting to get past him when Ginny left, I looked over and he was standing there looking at me, we were almost the same height for once. He was and is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. Somewhere deep inside my courage came to the surface and I leaned in and kissed him. At first, he didn’t respond, but when I grabbed his shirt and deepened the kiss, he kissed me in a way that I felt all the way to my toes. I’d never been kissed that way. Since that time, we’ve built a relationship based on mutual respect, trust, support, and we communicate with each other. He really listens to me. 

A week ago, today he told me he loves me, and I didn’t say anything back to him. It’s been a week and I may have ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I haven’t seen very much of him this week. We haven’t talked more than a hello and good-bye. We haven’t touched and the kisses have been almost platonic. I know he’s been busy at the ministry. Working almost night and day to get his department out of the mess he inherited when he took over but is that why he’s avoiding me? Is he avoiding me? Ginny says I need to talk to him. Maybe she’s right but if he’s never here, how can I? I tried today, I tried to see him in his office, but they said he’d just left for a meeting and didn’t know if he would be back. I keep asking myself, why I just didn’t tell him, I love him too because I do. So, I sit here looking out the window, and grief is about to overtake me. The tears are beginning to leak out of my eyes as I think of what I may have lost. It’s getting dark outside and still, I sit here looking out the window, but seeing nothing.   
I didn’t hear the door, but I hear footsteps in the hall. I know those steps, it’s him. He’s coming this way, but I don’t look at him. I don’t want him to know I’ve been crying. Somehow, he knows anyway. 

“Hey”, he lifts my chin with one finger to look at him, “what’s the tears? Did something happen?” He asks me, there is so much tenderness in his voice and concern in his eyes.   
I wipe at my eyes and really look at him, I can see every emotion in those grey eyes. The love is still shining in his beautiful eyes. “Nothings wrong other than I’m so stupid,” I tell him. 

“Why do you say that? You’re the last person I would pin that label on.” 

I go to take his hands and notice he has flowers in them. He lays them on the seat beside us. “Last week you said something to me, and I didn’t say anything at all to you. I just kissed you quickly and left the room. I should have said something before I ruined us.” Tears began again. 

“Ruined us, what do you mean ruined us?” He wiped tears again.

“I haven’t seen you at all this week and when I did see you it was as if we have no relationship at all. I figured I ruined us.” I told him looking at our joined hands. I love his hands, they’re strong, but soft and gentle all at the same time. I love the way my hand fits so comfortably in his and the way his hands feel in my hair when he kisses me breathless. 

Again, he tilts my chin to look at him, “Love, I would never expect you to say something that you aren’t ready to say or that you don’t feel because I do. Just because you don’t love me, or you aren’t ready to say it doesn’t mean I’m going to throw us away. I can wait or live without ever hearing it. And as far as not seeing each other this week, I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy getting the department organized, removing the dead weight, and hiring new people that I guess I put you on the back burner. I shouldn’t have done that; I should have made time for us. I’m so sorry.” 

Smiling at him for the first time, “No, I’m sorry.” I hug him tightly, “Say it again, please?” 

He pulls back and looks at me, “Hermione Granger, I love you!”

Just before pulling him into a long slow deeply passionate kiss, I whisper, “I love you too, Sirius.” As we sit kissing, I know all is right in my world again.


End file.
